Lightening the “burden” 
14
I smiled somewhat after reading Lady Bracknell’s guest blogger entry on the Ouch! blog, and also had a giggle at the editor’s note at the end:
“Ouch would like to offer our sincere apologies to Lady Bracknell for not being to able to provide a new Things That Make Me Very Angry blog category specifically for this post. Sorry.”
If you haven’t read the entry (and are too lazy to click the link above …) the wonderful Lady Bracknell comments on the unashamedly patronising and “aren’t disabled people tragic?” tone of Donna Mae Bean in her article “Don’t add to the burden of handicapped people”, which basically says non-crips shouldn’t use crip parking spaces because doing so would add “to an already-oppressive burden shouldered by persons suffering from a physical disorder”. I assume, as Lady Bracknell also guesses, that Ms. Bean is herself a non-crip and as such is unaware of how annoying, offensive and downright killing spree-inducing that sort of talk is.
After calming down, though, I started to think … *shocked silence* … if some non-crips see us crips as tragic sorts who carry a burden in our daily life, then they should, as caring citizens, try and do something about it. I tried to think what could make life more bearable and I got two answers: cash and oral sex.
So, if you’re a non-crip lady who happens to be an attractive red head/brunette/blonde (I’m not fussy) and you see a crip male, then be sure to do your good deed for the day by slipping him a tenner (or twenty bucks, depending on your locale) and offer to play his pink oboe - I’m sure it’ll brighten his day and make that “oppressive burden” just that bit easier to shoulder.
I’m an equal opportunities crip, so the same applies to Brad Pitt/Orlando Bloom/Will Smith types: if you see a crip lady, then try and brighten her day by giving her some cash and then offering to munch some carpet.
The only flaw to this seemingly brilliant idea is the possible disappointment that could occur should the crip in question be gay/lesbian/celibate/hermaphrodite - maybe people should start wearing badges stating their preferred sexuality to avoid embarrassment?
*Timmargh removes his tongue from his cheek*
#1 tugger said:
You could have called this one “Spit and polish’ too! :-)
on 20 October ‘05 
#2 Timmargh said:
:^D
on 21 October ‘05
#3 Lady Bracknell said:
Lady Bracknell? Wonderful? Shome mishtake, shurely? ;-)
I’m just pleased to hear that
a) someone’s actually been reading my guest blog entries; and
b) I’m not the only one who was enraged by what Donna Mae Bean wrote.
As far as the charitable and kindly acts go, I’m prepared to forego the cash…
on 22 October ‘05
#4 Timmargh said:
No mistake, m’lady.
on 23 October ‘05
#5 Lady Bracknell said:
It’s the magnificent hat, isn’t it? No-one can resist its allure…
on 23 October ‘05
#7 Timmargh said:
Deleted.
on 25 January ‘06
#9 Timmargh said:
This is a strangely popular topic for spammers.
on 1 February ‘06
#11 Timmargh said:
He does, but you need to buy a lifetime’s supply of viagra to qualify …
on 1 February ‘06
#13 Bob said:
I’m a moron - please ignore me!
on 2 February ‘06
#14 MHC said:
Ahhh! What would we do without the google, I ask you? So many things in the google… :^P
on 2 February ‘06
The conversation is closed